Kids In Church

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give
him the money now, will he let us go?"
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor write a sermon.  "How do you know
what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you
keep crossing things out?"
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A father took his 5-year-old son to several baseball games where the
Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the
father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence
Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after
everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service:  "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed
trash
against us."
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After a church service on Sunday Morning, a young boy suddenly announced
to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the
little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it
will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on
Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their
letter back the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We
had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she
said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big
sissy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time.
The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle,
carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one
started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to
you..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When
he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and
all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to
blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that
REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom,
but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
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A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he
had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took
his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly
The Cross I'd Bear."
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It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's
sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One
little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down,
the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the
pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the
Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that
if I  made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby
looked up into her face and replied, "Well, Ms.Smith, you can't say you
weren't warned."

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