My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor,
he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the
teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to
acquire building materials for his home.
She said "...And so the pig went up to the man
with a wheel barrow full of straw and said
'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw
to  build my house with?'" Then the teacher asked the class
"And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said "I know!
I know! He said 'Holy smokes!  A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and thy mother," she asked
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?"  Without missing a beat one little boy
(the oldest of a family) answered,  "Thou shall not kill."

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents
that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.  "It
wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls
helped me catch him."

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said,
"Momma, how come all of  grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it
when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And  there's the teacher; she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said,
"Now, boys, if I stood on my head the
blood, as you know, would run into it,
and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade
teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements
of the unborn child.  The six-year old
was obviously impressed, but made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher
about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said,
"Tommy, whatever has become
of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
"I think Mommy ate it!"

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