1. "It just makes good sense to put all
your eggs in one basket."
Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an
amendment requiring all revenues to go
into the state treasury

2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."
Texas Rep. Renal Rosson

3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle
of the road but yellow stripes
and dead armadillos."
Texas Agriculture Commissioner
Jim Hightower

4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs

5. "Dallas salutes a person
who can buy a piece of art,
but not a person who can create one."
A. C. Greene

6.  "Once was enough."
Texas Governor Bill Clements,
asked if he had been born again

7. "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."
Texas Agriculture Commissioner
Jim Hightower when told that
Texas Governor Bill Clements
had been studying Spanish

8. "I'd just make a little bit of money,
I wouldn't make a whole lot."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
defending himself against
the charge that he would
personally profit from a bill he had
introduced.

9. "Well, there never was a
Bible in the room."
Texas Governor Bill Clements,
asked about repeatedly lying
about the SMU football scandal.

10. "I am filled with humidity."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

11. "If ignorance ever goes to
$40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights
on that man's head."
Texas Agriculture Commissioner
Jim Hightower discussing
President George Bush's policies

12. "If it's dangerous to talk to
yourself, it's probably even
dicier to listen."
Texas Agriculture Commissioner
Jim Hightower

13. "I move we recess to go
outside and throw up."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
during a budget hearing

14. "This is a real competitive business."
A gas station owner,
when asked to explain the rapid rise in
gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded

15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens,
the insane and women..."
Law standing in Texas until
1918 regulating who could not vote

16. "It's the sediment of the
House that we adjourn."
Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep."
Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton

18. "This is unparalyzed in
the state's history."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

19. "I want to thank each and
every one of you for having
extinguished yourselves this session."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

12. "We'll run it up the flagpole
and see who salutes that booger."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

21. "There's a lot of uncertainty
that's not clear in my mind."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

22. "I can explain it for you,
but I can't understand it for you."
Anon.

23. "There are still places where
people think that the function
of the media is to provide information."
Don Rottenberg