"It's So Hot In Texas That......"
*The birds have
to use pot holders
to pull worms out
of the ground.
*The potatoes
cook underground,
and all you have to
do to have lunch
is to pull one
out and add butter,
salt and pepper.
*Farmers are
feeding their chickens
crushed ice to keep
them from
laying hard
boiled eggs.
"It's So Dry In Texas That..."
*The cows are giving evaporated milk.
*The trees are whistling for the dogs.
*A sad Texan
once prayed,
"I wish it would rain
- not so much for me,
cuz I've seen
it - but for my 7-year-old."
*A visitor to
Texas once asked,
"Does it ever rain
out here?"
A rancher quickly
answered
"Yes, it does. Do
you remember that part in
the Bible where
it rained for
40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied,
"Yes, I'm familiar
with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher
puffed up,
"we got about two
and a half inches of that."
"You Know You're In Texas When..."
*You no longer
associate bridges
(or rivers) with water.
*You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
*You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
*You can make instant sun tea.
*You learn that
a seat belt
makes a pretty good
branding iron.
*The temperature
drops below 95,
you feel a bit chilly.
*You discover
that in July,
it takes only 2 fingers
to drive your car.
*You discover
that you can get
a sunburn through
your car window.
*You notice the
best parking place
is determined by shade
instead of distance.
*Hot water now comes out of both taps.
*It's noon in
July,
kids are on summer
vacation,
and not one person
is out on the
streets.
*You actually
burn your
hand opening the car
door.
*You break a
sweat the instant
you step outside at
7:30 a.m. before work.
*No one would
dream of putting
vinyl upholstery in
a car or not
having air conditioning.
*Your biggest
bicycle wreck fear is,
"What if I get knocked
out and
end up lying
on the pavement
and cook to death?"
*You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
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Holiday
Index Page
Flowers
Page Four
Scenics
Page Two
Critters
Page Two
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Backgrounds Page One
Flowers
Page Five
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Backgrounds Page Two
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Backgrounds Page Three
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Index
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